I am not sure what or where we are going in this great big wide world? Social mores are forever changing and with all the technology the mores get trickier, weirder and the lines are blurred. Quite frankly things are a mess.
Social Media is a mess of games! Each venue has their own little rules. Bloggers, especially women/mommy bloggers create their own little social mores. Facebook has their set. Youtube, that place is a mess and nasty beyond nasty (they are trying to fix it by forcing the use of your real name, no hiding behind a sreenname but it is still optional). Twitter falls somewhere in between. Twitter you land in groups and follow the rules of the groups. Tumblr I am still figuring out and Pinterest people don’t really engage with each other as much as they comment on the item. Of course, there is so much more out there. Google+ is similar to Facebook but the posters try hard to claim they are a notch above Facebook so I am afraid to post anything on Google+ because Lord knows I barely am capable of posting on Facebook,correctly. All these social mores keep my head spinning!
AND WOMEN ARE TOUGH!! Be careful if you cross their MORES on these sites!!!!
My problem? I enjoy many of these platforms. Yet, I am over ‘the rules’. The rules seem to be all about judging and c’mon, we all judge! Let us say it together, WE ALL JUDGE!! I am over the Mommy/women bloggers constantly listing their “1o ‘do not’ do this lists!” Oh, and yet they claim they don’t judge. Now, that cracks me up the most!!! They rant about how they don’t judge and they don’t want to be judged. Well, hell how can you judge them. They are flipping AWESOME!! SEE,they breastfeed, make organic food and home school. Or they breastfeed and work out side the home at their dream job and manage to cook a 3 course meal every night while dressed in 6 inch heels. And, they tell other women they should be doing the same! They shout, “go for your dream” But, still make sure you are doing THE RIGHT thing for your children. Right being breastfeeding,organic food and museums,parks and crafts and homemade costumes! Glad you are NOT judging.
Oh, and better yet, women can and are not allowed to discuss another woman’s looks, especially weight but men are a free for all. They will call bald guys creepy, or over weight guys have a ‘beer gut’. My point, they have no problem hurting men but the second a writer refers to any woman in the story as fat, they rip the writer. Here is a fact, there are fat women. It is sad. AND, It is a fact. Oh, and another fact,some are fat because they over eat. No other flipping reason. No thyroid problem.
Worse. In the United States of America we have an OBESITY problem. OBESITY is directly related to HEART DISEASE. THE NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN, not breast cancer. Please don’t yell at me. I know it is October. I think breast exams are crucial too. My dear friend is going through pure hell, I know how important breast exams are!!! Get your breast exam!!! But, please do not sweep Obesity under the rug! OBESITY is directly linked to diabetes and many other health related issues. Now, we shouldn’t be cruel and pick on overweight people but ignoring it or even celebrating overweight people is just as crazy! It is like rooting for someone to smoke or egging on an alcoholic to drink. You know, by saying, “they just can’t help it, they try and it is just something in their brain but they are ROLE MODELS because they keep on going.” Yeah, we don’t say that about smokers that struggle and alcoholics, do we?
But, mostly this is about the FACT that none of us are perfect. We judge. We say inappropriate shit,especially when we are angry AND these social media outlets are making things easier to do it. It is awful BUT A REALITY. Idiots hide behind screen names. BUT, hey some IDIOTS use their real names.
Listen, when you are angry and describing a person one can get nasty, especially a woman when she is pissed off at a man. And women will root her on. His manly part is always fair game. It is funny turn around is not fair play. Guess WE DON’T WANT EQUALITY in ANGER!! I mean women will get nasty with each other but we have even created boundaries among ourselves. The truth can hurt and many times in anger we say the truth (not all the time but sometimes).
Now,this idea that we do not have control over our eating is getting a little out of control. Years ago, best friend called me,” ‘Big Girl’ like the ‘Big Boy’ of Frisch’s (a restaurant chain in Ohio)”. We were in Middle School. I was devastated. She said it jokingly with my cousin. We were on our way to Cedar Point. Yep, I didn’t like being the butt of the joke. I was doubly hurt my cousin didn’t defend me. And, while at Cedar Point they started calling me ‘Big Girl’. Oh, It hurt and stung like hell. I went home, went on diet and lost weight before entering High School. I was never heavy in high school or again. My mother helped me. My mom struggled with her weight and did Weight Watchers. I learned how to cook with regular food and use correct portion control. Yes, I made some young High School girl mistakes. Skipping breakfast but my mom insisted I have a glass of orange juice, that was the compromise until I learned then I ate oatmeal. My friend? She is not a bully or a mean person. This friend has done mission work around the world. I am sure she never meant to hurt me and really, she saved me. We were in Middle School. I don’t think she knew how to tell me I was getting chubby. My ballet teacher told me the same thing (not that I was a ‘Big Girl’, no, she told me I was getting too chubby to do ballet). My friend did not keep calling me ‘Big Girl’. It stopped right after the trip, I think she knew it was wrong. Although, I am glad she said what she said! Why? Because to this day I have kept my weight under control. Her words and my mother’s support have kept me healthy. Did my best friend do it correctly? Probably not but we were in Middle School. I think she learned and I learned AND WE MOVED ON. Not the end of the world. AND SHE WAS RIGHT!!
So back to social media? If you don’t like what people have to say, well, my suggestion, stay off of it. Recently someone posted on my Facebook timeline that people should not place any political stances on Facebook it is a social area and not a place for politics and if one more person posted a political comment then they were unfriending them. I just giggled. Many peopled liked it and said, “Way to go” but I thought and what if people wrote, “No more cat photos, this place is for family and stuff about each other and I am sick to death of all the cat shit, if you post one more cat photo….” I get it. Politics is ‘hot topic’ stuff but how sad that people can’t handle others opinions. I see a lot of opinions that irritate me but I would NEVER, EVER say, “Don’t write it.” I either think about it, ignore it, wonder why it upsets me so much and then move on. Why are we so afraid to think? Why are we so afraid to take a stand, to be confronted, to get upset? Judging is not always bad, it is how we evolve, change,think,feel,make a difference. If we accept everything and anything then how do we know right from wrong? It is sad, all we want is mindless bullshit, you know the cat photos or how to make a ghost cupcake! Seriously, sometimes it is OK to think, feel, get mad! Seriously, it won’t KILL YOU!!
I don’t believe in shutting people up. Sometimes we don’t articulate our words in the best manner (this long rant of a blog post). Sometimes it can be cruel AND sometimes it is the truth and last but not least it isn’t always bullying when you say something mean Sometimes it is just douchey,wrong and you need to move on. Sometimes, it is mean, douchey,TRUE and you still need to move on.
I think United States Citizens need to get THICKER SKINS!!!
If you made it through my long rant, great!! If you have a little over 8 minutes the video below is great. He articulates way better than me! I got douchey from him. Give it a watch!
In the absolute end my point to all of this!
- I believe in FREEDOM OF SPEECH!
- OBESITY is a huge problem in THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and it leads to so many other health issues. I do not believe it is about looks, or being stick thin. I think people need to educate themselves. NOT BY READING CELEBRITIES. Go to your DOCTOR. GET TO YOUR HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR YOUR AGE.
- BULLYING, ugh, we have gone overboard and I feel for KIDS WHO REALLY GET BULLIED. Been there, know it, all too well!
Sound off below!